So, I went over, of course >.> I didn't have school and mom made a SHIT TON of brownies, cakes ect. for some school thing for my little brother. Only, she made twice as much as was needed. Dad wasn't home so she made me and my brother eat dinner with her. I'm scared to say no, besides the fact she might blow up and I'll end up with bruises, I'm terrified of her finding out how I'm losing weight.. She WANTS me to lose weight, but she wants me to do it in a healthy way xD does she not realize I'm AT a healthy weight? Actually, near the bottom of the healthy weight range.Well, I'm not going to tell her.
Anyways, she thinks I'm strength training.
While I am exercising a bit, I really don't like it and would much rather be hungry and light headed than sore. Except for my stomach, I've been trying to make those muscles sore because it feels like I have a stomach ache and I don't feel like eating.
I ended up eating like 500 Cal... That will not help me get to where I want this month. If I want to lose my period I've got to eat less, move more, stop wishing and start working! I've been really really tempted lately to try purging... I found out a little while back that if I take two of these 'One A Day Teen Advantage' things my mom got me it will make me really nauseous.. I almost did it yesterday.. then I thought, it's nutrients I'm trying to avoid so my lining doesn't build up, not a good thing to OD on, so instead I went and did crunches trying to get my belly to hurt today. I did about 60 of them, I think I've been doing it too often lately... that's more than I've done at one time in months, but it doesn't hurt at all probably 'cause I've done a few almost every day. My legs feel a bit weak from the leg lifts, but they don't hurt either... damn the human bodys adaptablity >.>
M is kinda worrying me, I mentioned losing weight...
M says (11:08 AM):
And yea, dont do that. I like you at a healthy weight, regardless of what your mom says or any minor pudge. Youll always be beautiful to me.
U says (11:16 AM):
I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with the idea of gaining weight, but.. just, thanks *hug*
M says (11:19 AM):
Of course. You dont have to worry about weight ----. Ill love you always, whatever way you are.
I want to ask him, will you love me if I lose weight too? But that just seems like it would be too obvious...
He sounds like such a nice guy! Really does :) and good to try and avoid the purge, I mean of course sometimes it's inevitable but it's always best not to. Hope your month goes well :) Harley x
ReplyDeletematt sounds really nice. and dont beat your self up on going over really your doing great, stay safe and strong. i know you can do what ever you put your mind to.
ReplyDeletelots of love S xoxo
matt looks hot. and he sounds so nice.
ReplyDeleteplease try your best to avoid purging. its the reason i went from 120 to 150. it doesnt do you any good. mia is a bitch.
you are so thinspiring, stay strong babe. xxx
He sounds like he really cares for you! You're a lucky girl to have him, and I'm sure he'd stick around no matter what.
ReplyDeleteDon't stress about the food stuff. As long as you're trying to look after yourself!
<3