I stayed up till a little after 4:50 on webcam with Matt. We had so much fun talking and sometimes just making silly faces at each other ^.^
He's so fucking perfect physically too.
You can barely see his breast bone, and a faint outline of his ribs, and his arms are so muscular <3 god I love his body so much, he thinks he's too skinny xD I'm like god no, you're perfect! Funny thing is, he is underweight >.< so I don't want to stop him from gaining a little if he's going to.. but... I really hope he stays the way he is, I just think he's so gorgeous.
I defiantly have a thing for skinny people, all of my boyfriends have thought they were too skinny (so did most other people) but I always thought they looked great. And not just 'oh I like you so yeah I'm going to think you look good' like even now I look at them (the ones that haven't gained) and think 'damn he's still hot as ever'

But... I've been thinking about Brandon lately... my last ex. We really don't match well, in any way except physically. God he turned me on so easily, all the time, without even trying to.
Matt acts like he doesn't care sometimes, because he knows I like the power play, but Brandon really did not care for the longest time, he just tossed me up against the wall (and he was strong, he could hold me there for quite awhile, an hour or more even) and he did whatever the hell he wanted to without any input from me. Or he would tell me what he wanted, and I never thought to disobey. Not like I could have stopped him from taking it after all. It was when he started saying he loved me too and started caring about my pleasure that I stopped getting turned on. Weird huh?

I don't think I like him again, I think I'm just wondering what it will be like with Matt. We're going to have the whole weekend, so I guess I'll find out. I need to make sure I eat friday so I have the energy and am able to get turned on xD

Intake
1/8th bagel - 28
egg white (mom made the yolk runny, so I'm going to bump it up from 17 since I know some of the yellow got into me) - 25
one grape - 3

Planning to have
small orange - 45
1 packet of crystal light - 20

total so far - 121

Ok, fasting didn't happen (sorry girlie), my plan is just to not go over 300 today. If I can stay with 121, that would be amazing, but I'm just going to plan for under 300.
I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow, I'm finding it easier to just take it one day at a time so I won't think 'well I'll just make up for this tomorrow' 'cause I find whenever I do that, I never actually make up for it.

OMG I just weighed myself,
ALL TIME LOW!!!
!!!!!!!!98!!!!!!!!
=D omfg hell yes! And thats with the bagel and egg in me <3 yesyesyes! Holy hell I was so sure I hadn't lost anything xD woot!
95 here I come!