Friday, October 15, 2010

What the hell...

Couldn't do it.
As soon as I decide I'm going to eat a healthy amount...
I did yesterday, ate enough..
Felt ok even.
Then I looked in the mirror this morning and...
Oh god...
I've got the ugliest stomach you've ever seen.
And the scale...
She says I weigh 104 again.
I tried to eat anyways...
I purged.
I hate my body so much..
I want it, all of it, just..
Gone.

Now I've got duct tape wrapped around my middle and thighs.
Tightly.
I did it out of anger at my pudgy stomach and touching thighs.
It hurts.
If I weren't so fat it wouldn't hurt so bad.
Fitting.

I need a real corset.
M would think that's sexy I bet.
I'll ask him for one.

3 comments:

  1. Methinks Hot Topic sells corsets, but if you want a quality one there's heaps of online gothic boutiques that sell them. Pretty exy though.

    Sorry, that's not very helpful :S
    I ate WAY too much today too. I was supposed to be fasting and then out of the fucken blue the fat chick inside my head tells me that it would be a swell idea to eat until I feel like throwing up.
    Geh.I've probably gained a pound. 2 pounds knowing my luck.

    Sorry about the moan, just thought we could commiserate >.<

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  2. i love corsets :)
    dont get too down in the dumps hun! every day is a new an potentially better day.
    xoxoox

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  3. don't feel bad dear. i've been struggling lately too. it's that fuckin sugar. every fucking time. i hope you feel better soon! <3

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