100

I'm still there. It probably won't last, but right now I'm just happy with life, so it's not bothering me too much that I'm at the same place/
When I put my hands on my hips, bone is all I want to feel. I love collar bones, I think they're soso sexy, ahh! Onemonthonemonth! M will be here <3 I hope he likes it, I've lost 10 pounds since I last saw him, hoping to make it 15, oh my god I hope he likes it. His last gf had large boobs... she was also a blond (I've got brown hair with some natural red in it, and I've got LARGE nothing, just kinda hanging in that spot where I'm not fat but not skinny enough) it seems physically and mentally I'm a lot different from her, he hates her so that's a good thing. She's very emotional, but adverse to physical, I'm not typically emotional, but I love physical contact. She's easily upset and makes a show of it but doesn't get really excited when she's happy, when I'm happy I'm hyper as fuck and I don't really act upset, I don't like showing negative emotions, if you see me when I'm unhappy I usually just look chill, an kinda tired. People mistake my anger and sadness for tired all the time, as it should be. I don't like dealing with those emotions in myself, I don't like other peoples reactions to them either.

Had about 1/4 a can of vegetarian soup, about 30 Cal and three grape tomatoes (no idea on Cal) for breakfast, I'm trying not to eat anything else today. I might end up having a pack of gummies though (80 Cal and no fat in the packs they sell at school, so happy I found that out 'cause Cat tries to buy me things and the other things are chocolate and pizza and hotdogs, yuck)
I'll share the gummies if I get them, I'm going to try to keep my total under 100. lol that's todays number, 100
I used to think 1000 Cal was not much, that puts things in perspective, makes me feel like I've come quite a way :)

yay for happy days, I can almost see the impending crash though
Nope, not thinking about that, think happy thoughts!
Thankyou thankyou all my gorgeous girls for the comments and suggestions in your blogs, just reading and knowing there are other people out there struggling along with me, it helps a lot.

Special thanks to Harley x for encoraging me to take a leap and go to Cats party, I'm so doing it!

To offset the rantyness, heres something interesting I found, some foods that make you feel more full with less and a warning about not getting enough calcium, apperantly lack of that nutrient can trigger the release of calcitrol, a hormone that causes fat storage. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/diet/Foods-that-make-you-feel-full/articleshow/4890340.cms
I abhor feeling full, so I'll just keep the calcium warning in mind and maybe eat just a little of these to see if it can keep me from getting hungry even if I'm not full