I love Matt. I have no doubt about that, I am absolutely and totally in love.
The first time he undressed me he kissed my stomach and put his cheek against it and goes
'I don't know what you're talking about when you say you're fat' then he bit my hip bone
(and left a bruise xD)
and says 'You are definitely the skinniest little thing I know' I had to respond with 'not as skinny as you' and he just shook his head and kissed me. He has the most heart melting, soft and lingering kiss.. "The kiss is the body of intimacy" he once said to me, and he kisses like he, not just believes that, but feels it in his soul.He doesn't push me to eat, he askes me sometimes but if I say no thanks or only take a little, there is no judging, no funny looks or anything. Just acceptance. He's worried, he has told me so, but his worry isn't suffocating. He says he'd rather keep me than change me, he also said 'Someday dear, someday I hope you'll be able to see yourself like I do, because you are the most amazing person I have ever laid eyes on' I laughed and told him he must never have ever seen himself then.
Also,
I love his mother.
(you have no idea how hard it was to balance them like this)
Yeah, she bought me stuff. We all went to the mall & his sister wanted to go to Vikis secret & there was a sale, 7 of these for like 30 something$ & she got four and told me to grab three. lol I tried to ask Matt which he liked these he gave these 'not terrible' which he says is the highest anything from there would get, so I got them xD I didn't realize the coconut one was a body wash & not a lotion.. oh well. I haven't used them yet because I smell like Matt right now and don't want that to change too soon.. he let me take his hoodie & I accidentally grabbed his shirt (yes it was actually an accident) in place of one of mine, they are both dark..I hid them under my pillow and am sleeping with them. <3 have I said yet that I have gone gaga over this boy? I've never slept with someone elses clothes before, even when an ex told me he was sleeping with mine I was just kinda like erm.. well good for you?
So yeah, his family. His little (half) brother is adorable, his youngest (half) sister is a little annoying, his other younger sister is very pretty, and I adore his mother, she actually talked to us! and he has a really good relationship with her (well.. compared to me and my mom at least) and I am just in awe of them, I spent the first few minutes of hearing them joke in a mild state of shock. I can't do that with my mom. If we exchange more than three sentences there is a fight, unless I am tightly under control and censoring even the thoughts that pass through my head. I hate her. I wish I could have stayed with Matt, his mother is awesome and.. well even if the whole fam sucked, at least I'd be with him... I know he's not perfect, but.. he's as close to perfect as I could imagine a human to be. How can this possibly last? How can someone so amazing, so loving and smart and fun NOT find someone better than ME?
But no, I won't let myself follow that thought, I'll be there as long as he wants me to be, hopefully in two and a half years (when I'm 18 & out of highschool) we'll be looking for an apartment together.. I think about it as obsessively as my weight, if I'm not thinking about one, I'm thinking about the other.. or I'm thinking about both of them.... and... there is a 'too thin' for me..
I can't die. I can't get hospitalized, and I have to be able to function. For Matt..
Quotes and moments of the weekend; "Because lights are for noobs,"
"Wait, what time is it? 11:45?! Bitch get up here! Around here we celebrate the new year! *glances down and mutters* even if I am about to come.." I have never, and I mean NEVER seen or heard of a guy abandoning his boner to do anything. Especially pop little things that shoot streamers.. in the cold.. without shoes.. yeah he ran outside without shoes. This was the cutest thing ever, and when we came back in he just wanted to kiss and cuddle and go to sleep..
Did I mention I love him?
Heh, we did this with my big nightshirt <3 not in the kitchen, but still.
Sounds like you had a great time, that's awesome.
ReplyDelete&You look so skinny.
Omg hip bones!!
ReplyDeleteAnd the reason he hasn't found anyone better is because you are AWESOME in every way imaginable.
Glad you had a good time xx
Awwwwww this post is so cuuuuuute.
ReplyDeleteIF this boy breaks your heart, I'm totally gonna hunt him down and beat him up ^_^
Hmmm should probably get a good pic of him so I don't hunt the wrong guy. Cuz that would suck.
Hey! He bruised you! Oh wait...you liked it. Guess I can't smack him for that. Well I could but it wouldn't be fair ^_^
Sharp little hipbones there. You look good. I'm thinking of a post from a few days ago...if there's really a chance of future babymaking you might wanna stop and maintain at 18.5 which is the very edge of underweight. Sucks but...the more underweight you get, the greater chance of damaging your fertility.
Abandoning a boner is a rare thing for a guy! And it's a good sign when he does abandon it for something else. It shows that he puts you ahead of his own pleasure. And he was happy to just cuddle afterwards? So far this boy sounds like a real gem.
So glad you had a good time!
You're a very lucky gal! So happy for you. Take it from an old timer like me, there were probably plenty of other girls, but none of them were YOU! "You're the top..." as Cole Porter wrote and Ella Fitzgerald sang, most beautifully! He chose YOU!! How awesome is that?! You go, girl!
ReplyDeleteI've been with same guy 10+ years and when he's away, I still sleep with his hoodies and stick my head in his cupboard to inhale him! We still spoon, hold hands on the couch and have marathon kissing sesssions! In all this time, I still can't get enough of those big, warm hands and the gentle lips of that full and beautiful mouth. See, he still makes me gush! Ain't love grand?!
Well done on your weight loss, Sweetie. Have a great day. <3. XXX.