Plan, thinking

So, I wrote up a plan. I've already changed it twice, I've decided it's ok to change it, as long as I'm not adding to it. All I did was switch a few meals to more convenient days.
I need more almond milk (Blue Diamond Almond Breeze, the 40 cal vanilla one) 2g of carbs in one cup and one of them is fiber, 0sugar, and half a cup in oolong tea with a pack of stevia is omg sooo good.

I'm running out of artificial sweeteners, I need to go to lunch with my grandpa, my parents don't want to buy them and they are real easy to snatch from places like Courtesy Diner where I can get a piece of ham or ham and egg... for the sweeteners it's worth it. They are the only things that can keep me away from candy. I need something sweet, I simply can't cut sweets out :/ I tried once and had my worse bing ever like two days later >.>

I need to throw away the sweets hidden in my room, but I try and try and just can't seem to do it (I sat there holding a handful over the trash can last night and just couldn't drop them, finally I put one in and put the rest back, that's better than most times I've tried when I end up eating one >.>)

I remember when I was little I ate sweets all the time, could never get enough, even resorted to stealing them when no one would buy them, people would tell me I was going to get fat if I ate as much as I did so I decided that to avoid that, I would eat nothing BUT sweets, I think I was probably thinking something like all calories are equal so if I just don't eat anything else then I won't get fat and I can still eat what I want. I was 7 or 8? I've been thinking about this lately and wondering if it was the first sign of being pron to an eating disorder or just little kid weirdness, because most thoughts of weight disappeared for about a year after that was over.. though I did cycle through, I like my body and hate it. Mostly this was centered on things I couldn't do much about though, I wanted darker hair and greener eyes..
The one thing I always wanted was the ability to completely change how I looked, like the one girl in harry potter. I guess it doesn't really matter now, I just think too much.

Three hours till Aunt picks me up for school...

I feel fat.

I'm hungry.

I want summer.

I miss playing soccer.

I should go get on the treadmill.