Monday, April 18, 2011

I made him mad.

I binged.
I took a lax.
I'm not eating today.
I'm a failure
fat
ugly
stupid
pathetic
bitch
disgusting
heartless
twisted
sick
undeserving
unworthy
fatfatfatfatfatfat
all I'm worthy of is starving and pain, the only reason I don't want to die is because I deserve the pain
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7 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 18, 2011 at 7:50 AM

    gah, I know how you feel. weekends are a total bitch. they can ruin the whole week... if we let it.

    dont let it! lets be super strong this week. show ana whats what!

    xx

    HB

    ReplyDelete
  2. CApril 18, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    Don't let a binge ruin your mood and self-esteem!

    I'm sure you'll do great tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Honor RegzigApril 18, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    It doesn't mean he's stopped loving you. Depending on what he's mad about, it could mean he loves you deeply.
    <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. Starving ArtistApril 18, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    I know he loves me, he's mad at me for basically telling him to fuck off while he tried to make me feel better. I didn't want to feel better. I'm not worthy. I binged and laxed because I made him mad, not the other way around. That list is the shit I need to fix to be worthy of him.

    ReplyDelete
  5. jApril 18, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    You ARE worthy <3 <3 it's true, you just have to believe it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. pixistix14April 18, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    Seriously read my post! Story of my life sweetie! I'm so sorry. Ty-my bf, got so pissed about what happened with me.. I cant help it! much love! stay strong!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Peridot (G+P)April 19, 2011 at 1:16 AM

    FUCK THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT! FUCK IT IN THE ASS WITH A BLUNT CHAINSAW!!

    When a kid is learning to walk, do you kick them in the head very time they fall over?

    NO!!!

    You help them up, dust them off, give them a hug and get them to TRY AGAIN.

    *Reads your comment up there ^ ) I do understand, however, that sometimes when people try to make you feel better it just makes you feel worse. I tell Miles when his sympathy is just like putting salt in a wound, and he tries to understand >.< Poor guy has to put up with so much shit.

    Ugh, so true. Fuck the experimenting and gaining. I'm honestly too scared of losing my sight from complications (Diabetes can cause blindness) to try. I think I've seen blood sugar testers at the Pharmacy, but I can't remember if it was blood sugar or blood pressure! XD

    I'd go for doing Zuzana's workouts and follow her food challenges.
    Damn I wanna move to a ground-floor place so I can do her exercise vids again! You just can't do burpees in a top floor apartment :(

    Love you! <3

    ReplyDelete

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