Thursday, November 11, 2010

I don't even know what else to say, I'm fat, stupid, ugly, lazy.

Back up to 100 pounds this morning. So what do I do? have a fucking slice of cake. I'm babysitting my sick brother, I did just a little exercise, some friends are coming over, I can't flush... I'll try not to eat more... ugh I'm so pathetic. Why do I get stuck at every goal I reach for like a month?
I can't do that this time!
I HAVE GOT TO GET TO 90!!! 
I can have 50 calories with my friends, not till after one o'clock, and that's all for today.
I'll drink my tea and my and only use no Cal sweetener.
Tomorrow I fast, real fast, tea, crystal light and water.
No Cal sweetener only.
No honey for this fatty, I don't deserve it.
And I'll be doing my flush, ugh I wanna do it today still... but I'm not going to have time now..
Have to go take a shower.
Yeah. Greedy, gluttonous, fatface, that I am.
Ganna go boil and scrub my skin off now, I wish I could scrub fat off.
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7 comments:

  1. AlexNovember 11, 2010 at 10:07 AM

    Please don't be so hard on yourself hun! Use the gain as motivation. I really hope your next post is cheerier, and I hope you're ok <3 xx stay strong

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  2. Honor RegzigNovember 11, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    Awww... think of it this way: the longer you maintain a goal weight, the more likely your body will accept that weight as its set point. And that's a good thing.

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  3. jNovember 11, 2010 at 12:00 PM

    mmm...cake..
    Don't be so hard on yourself, your body is probably just trying to stabilize your weight because bodies normally like to have some extra weight for reserves (damn them!) but really it's a good thing, because if you started gaining a lot for some reason it would still be fighting to keep you at those weights. Even though it doesn't seem like it, it's much better than if you had lost it all in a month in which case it would all come back and a lot faster.
    Just remember that you're amazing and that you can do it : )

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  4. MianaNovember 11, 2010 at 3:10 PM

    You can do it hun! Stay positive!
    I just wen through a depression phase right now and I gained like shit but I'm finally back on track ;) we believe in you :D

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  5. SNovember 11, 2010 at 5:33 PM

    wow dont be so hard on your self! 100 is great! and careful about fasting at 100. When your that small your body will hang on to everything after the fast. stay strong and safe

    lots of love S xoxo

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  6. Happiness is possibleNovember 12, 2010 at 6:18 AM

    AWH!!!! NOO!!!! dont be so hard on urself! these things happen! and the reason ur staying at ur goal weight for so long is actualy a good thing b/c it means ur body is changing that from ur "empty body(aka fasting)" weight to ur actual weight!

    i really hope ur next post has a bunch of happy faces!!! :P

    -stay strong and beautiful, inside and out
    happiness <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Isla LynnNovember 12, 2010 at 7:23 PM

    You'll do great. I just know it.

    ReplyDelete

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