Time seems a little odd to me lately, like I'm not quite connected with it, or sometimes maybe I'm hyper-aware of it somehow? Vixys 'the moments last a lifetime, but the years they go so fast' usually seems accurate, I'm waiting for something to end, always waiting for the next thing to begin, but I look back and think 'where did all that time go?' but not right now. Since school started, everything just seems fast, the school day goes by so fast. I think it might be because I went from working from 8-6 and then going to school from 6-9 to just having 8:25-3:25 and then its over. The rest of the day is mine, but then that seems to pass so quickly too, doesn't 'your time' always? At the end of every day I'm left thinking, where did that day go?
I'm still maintaing, but I swear thats about to change. I can feel it the motivation coming back, I'm
wanting to shrink away again. I lost the drive for awhile, I wanted it but I kept thinking of reasons I shouldn't, now though, those nagging little 'but why?' voices are starting to get answers. I keep seeing girls that are thinner than me, prettier, I cant change how pretty I am, but I can get thinner.
Seeing these girls in person is just so much more of a thinspo for me than pictures.. you know? Because they're actually there and I feel the need to compete.
And they all look so happy..
I don't like not being the thinnest girl around.. hell, in my bio class the thinnest is a guy and I'm still jealous.
Not only am I jealous of that flat stomach and ribs, I would fuck him (if I wasn't with matt of course, fucked up I may be but a cheater I am not). I think that is an absolutely gorgeous body.. (and I want his necklace, and I have an asian fetish. No joke, the only thing that could possibly make matt any better is if he looked asian (LOL auto correct tried to make that avian! I am not into birds autocorrect!!)). I've only had a few sexual dreams that weren't centered on an asian. Like, two guys, and a few girls. Since we're on sexuality here, most of my sexual dreams have been of females.. Three of guys, one ex, Matt, and one asian guy I had a huuge crush on (and still kinda wanna fuck..). All the rest, female. And plenty of those xD
Yay for random sexualness!
Wahaha careful...that's how I started coming out!
ReplyDeleteKidding kidding..mostly. I did have sex dreams of both genders but the guy ones actually felt painful and suffocating, like he was this huge weight on my chest pinning me down. The girl dreams were the ones I liked.
So yea....you're random...I'm predictable :p :)
Yay for in person thinspo! That's nice cuz then it's easier to find peeps who are your height and build. Always good.
OMG THE POKEMOBS!! I was all over that the instant it came up on my YouTube dash. It looks amazing!!!!!! :D Makes me feel old, I was playing red&blue on an original black/white gameboy XD
ReplyDeleteSome of the new yarn is taking my sock-ginity. OMG it's fiddly!
Hmmmm, asian boys are pretty but I prefer a little more meat on my men. I dislike being stronger than my partner. Lol, I can two-leg-press AND quad extend more than my ex-partner's bodyweight! He was a tiny, skinny white boy *Sigh* I also like my girls to have T&A, to be crude. I looooove the pinup look!
Hope you have a good night! <3
Haha I'm with Peri--I just can't find skinny guys attractive. I don't think that part of my brain evolved with modern society. I've always wanted a MAN who can build me a house with his bare hands and kill my dinner and protect the tribe and junk.
ReplyDelete:D
Time only speeds up as well, as you get older. I hate it. One of the reasons I like smoking maryjane, because it slows your perception of time passing..... Not that I would ever condone illegal substances.
xD
oxo