those are over and done with already
I actually think the face turned out kinda cute. I did Nyan Cat because Matty loves Nyan Cat.
If you dont know what Nyan Cat is go educate yourself.
I shouldnt be up right now, its three in the morning, I have to be up for school in about four hours, but matt and I were fighting. I don't even know who was wrong or right, I kinda think he's right, I sure feel like everything I am is just wrong, but somehow I managed to cling to my flimsy logic simply because I wanted him to give in and say hes sorry and that it wasn't wrong for me to want to be coddled a little. Even though it really was stupid and he has every reason to be mad at me for being a kill joy, I wish he would have just given me a few moments so I could have gotten over my freak out instead of saying I need to just throw my fear to the wind and do something. It's just that easy for him, and I don't understand how it is, I wish I did and I wish I could do it but I don't and I can't and I wish he could understand that and just.. not tell me he feels like he'd have to treat me like a little kid.
Sorry about that, I just needed to whine. He said 'go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow' but I dont know if I can sleep. I kinda wanna go bang my head against the wall, or run, or something. I would if it didn't make noise. Instead I guess I'm going to go lay down and wish I could cry still, because my head hurts and it feels like it needs to come out but it can't for some stupid reason.
I'm so mad at myself..
oof your fight with matty sounds rough. I hate when I'm fighting and I know I'm wrong but I continue anyway... It'll be okay though, he sounds reasonable and from your posts I can tell he loves you and will be there for you in the long run. I saw your Poke Ball nails and almost screamed. so adorable. I'm very jealous of your manicure skills. Mine always look awful!
ReplyDelete<3
OMFG I WANT NYAN-NAILS!!
ReplyDeleteAlso: I'm going to do a massive Nyan Cat pixel art on our Minecraft server. Have you seen the ones people have animated with pistons? EPIC.
Maybe what your searching for is validation? This isn't the first time you've said you wanted him to say he was sorry, it's also not the first time you've said he was right.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you just want to be told that it's ok to feel the way you do? That you have a right to your feelings? Your mom does seem to invalidate you a lot.
Matty isn't trying to invalidate you. I bet he's just confused about where these feelings and reactions are coming from, and boys tend to get frustrated when they can't solve a problem. He wants to be your knight in shining armor and doesn't know how and it is frustrating.
You know how you don't understand how he can throw fear to the wind. I think he likewise is trying to understand why you can't and wishing he understood why you can't. That he's feeling everything you are only in reverse.
It'll be ok. He's shown he loves you.