I'm seeing my Matty again next month, summer school will be starting.. Matty though, he's my main motivation, I feel like I should at least be thinner than last time when I next see him, which means I have to be under 90 by next time because thats where I was last time I saw him. Two weeks ago.. why does it have to be sooo easy to gain three pounds in a week and so hard to lose the same?
I kinda wanted to fast a few days this week, but I kinda don't now, we have fresh tomato and spinach and berries and yogurt and almond milk and I think I should nibble on those. I'll have a healthy low week and then fast next week. Probably..
Really kinda want to fast today though.. might anyway. 100% fruit juice tube pops <3
Thats probably gonna be my rule when I move out. I think we're planning on moving in with Mattys friends right now. I don't know whats going to happen then, if it even happens, I still feel like there's no way I'm good enough for him.. how could he not meet someone else in College? and I'm not even going to be there.. how could I have a chance to keep his attention on me when he's out meeting new people and living on his own..
Just need to get through this year first..
What was it my councilor told me before my mom decided it looked bad to have a kid with a therapist?
"Try to focus on one thing at a time."
"Try to focus on something you can control."
Get.
Thin.
i know what you mean about how easy it is to gain! I like the inspire:) Ohhh therapy...half of those shrinks have eating problems themselves.
ReplyDeleteThat is a good inspire.
ReplyDeleteAnd the reason it's so easy to gain is cuz we evolved that way. Back before mass production food was scarce and the ability to pack on pounds quickly and lose them slowly was an advantage.
Remember in history class those pics of fat women being painted as beautiful? Being fat was seen as lovely because it was hard to do. nowadays being thin is hard to do. (Why does evolution have to be so slow?!)
Beauty will always be whatever look is hardest to achieve at that point in time.
Yay for munching on the fresh produce. it's good for you..low calorie and chock full of these lovely antioxidants that protect your skin and hair and heart and all good stuff!
<3
One day in the next 10 years we can hug eachother for realz. I'm planning on travelling and doing a lot of visiting, so I'll make sure to oome hang you with you :p
ReplyDeleteFUCK YES I love that picture! Its so true! They should have that at the doors of supermarkets to remind all the low-income families with morbidly obese kids that carrots are a viable after-school or lunchbox munchable. Ever had carrot sticks marinated in lemon juice? OMNOMNOMNOM!!!1!
*Huggles*