Wednesday, March 9, 2011

loose



Yeah, I am. No, not like that (ok, only 'cause I'm dating... hush) I mean.. with my words. It's like all my inhabitions melt away while I'm talking to him. A lot like here, only it's different, you know? Because he has a direct affect on my life, he knows my friends and all that jaz. Anyway, we were talking and somehow it got onto his body (which everyone knows I worship) and I don't quite remember what was being said before this, but I said something like 'Just don't get fat' and then I was mortified, why had I said that? Of course I would still love him if he was fat, it's just that it's not.. you know, physically attractive... more bluntly, I can't imagine having sex with a fat person. I feel terrible thinking like this, because emotionally it wouldn't make a difference, or so I tell myself. It shouldn't, right? I have fat friends.. but I can't imagine dating or.. really touching any of them..
Matt has told me he wouldn't care if I got fat, when I said this though he said "I think I'd cut it out, I'd be so disgusted with myself"
All I said was "We'll work out together" and he agreed, not like we hadn't already planned this, but it felt different this time.. I guess the 'so you'd feel the same?' thoughts were what did it.
I still wonder if he hasn't got a bit of an eating disorder himself.. he's just so understanding and he says things like that and he's not active and he's so skinny...

I read Purged the other night. Pretty awesome book, but the whole time I was wondering what she weighed, it was kinda distracting not knowing. Weird huh?


Adina, Before And After
 I want abs. Not like, super abs, just a hint..

7 comments:

  1. I love reading "Purge"- it you're talking about the same book I'm thinking of (the barfers vs the starvers) ^^. I kind of feel the same way you do- emotionally it wouldn't make a difference if I was with a guy and he gained weight, but the thought of me being intimate with an overweight guy is a bit of a turn-off, you know? That's why I want to be thin- so no guy would ever consider me a "turn off."

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  2. It's crazy but there is something so comforting about a man with a tummy. Not HUGE but just a little tummy to rub and lay on...

    DD says the same to me but I would sooner die. Double standard!

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  3. Omg yesssss! Aaaaaaaaabssss!

    I do like my guys to be fit, but with some cuddle padding on them. Nothing more uncomfortable than bumping hipbones during sex. OUCH!! D:

    <3

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  4. At least you didn't say what I said once.

    "I do have a weight limit"

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  5. You two are so sweet together! I it's okay to admit that physically you like skinny people. More people should be honest about their preferences. And you still love him as a person but physical attraction is a little different sometimes.

    Love you! How is the piercing healing up?

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  6. Lol, I've never liked skinny guys. I'd prefer chubby to skinny, although muscley is best. :D

    xoxo

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  7. A hint of abs would be lovely. And I couldn't picture myself ENJOYING sex with a fat person, but I know I'd love my boyfriend even if he got heavy. (Which he won't because he's disordered too, but still.)

    I tried browsing Purge and I gotta say, the whole "barfers vs starvers" thing really turned me off to it. But if it's as good as you say, maybe I'll have to try it again. :)

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