What do you do when your mother wants you to die?
If you're me, nothing. I stared at her, and she sneered at me, I don't care she says, she came home screaming but I don't care. Anyone with a heart would have said something by now, I have no emotions. Dead. I'm dead, and why shouldn't I be? Worthless thing that I am.
I'm not sure where her voice stopped and mine started, is it mine? Is it still her in my head, does she make me think these things or is it that some part of me knows its true? Every word she says to me, sometimes I wonder if its really her saying it, sometimes my own voice drowns her out. I wish it would go back to what it used to be, my voice used to take me away to lands with knights and faeries and fanciful creatures waiting to greet me and make me happy but now it tells me she's right, I'm not worth it. I can't find that magial land again because I'm not innocent anymore. I hurt her, I want her to hurt, so I deserve to be hurt. I don't care, and why should I? Worthless thing that I am. I should be hurt, but I don't care, so how do you hurt someone that doesn't care?
You starve them.
You are none of anything that your bitch of a fucking lunatic mother is saying. I DO NOT WANT YOU TO DIE. Please oh please listen you us, your real family! I want you to live! I want to meet you! I want to give you the biggest hug I can manage one day and say "God its so great to finally meet you little sister!"
ReplyDeleteAnd if you must, Create an ANA voice. Just not your mothers. Just please not down that road.
Okay, you know what?
ReplyDeleteYour mother is a bitch.
I know, I have no right to make judgements on people I don't personally know but she is toxic.
Don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth, anyone who tells their child they don't care if they die is obviously either unstable or messed up in the head.
You deserve to live, think of all the things you have yet to accomplish, to experience.
Think of a future where you have everything you want, just don't think about her.
Block her out, you don't her toxic influence in your life.
<3
Your mother is a skanky mole. Ignore her, ok?
ReplyDelete<3
P.S.
ReplyDeleteThat video was fucking EPIC! Thank you so much! I got soooo many ideas. . . *Innocent whistling*
Shared it with the Squaddies, and they loved it.
You are a-fucking-mazing, a total genius.
xoxoxox
Your mother is a horrible person. Don't believe those awful things she tells you because she's not right. Don't let those hurtful words take over you, they're not true.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve to live a happy life and you will have a happy life when you will live without her. Think about future, it will be better.
Stay strong ♥
Mothers! You can't live with them, you can't kill them! Best to move far, far away from them! Not long now, hey Babe?!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the lovely comment. I would LOVE to see your Anime! I do like greens and blues and I'm easing myself back into pink with dusty rose and salmon colours. I look very good in yellow and like to wear it. It works with my skin tone! (olive)
I did get a bit girly for work over December. I worked for a boutique and the boss asked us to look good for the Xmas rush. I'll email you a pic. I hate it when people make a fuss, though. Just because they're seeing me in a dress for the first time doesn't mean I don't wear them!
I like redefining my style, too. A change is as good as a holiday! Love you. <3. XXX.
I'm sorry things don't seem to be going well for you and your mother. I apologize for not knowing much about the situation, but I'm a new follower and I'd love to stick around and cheer you up. <3
ReplyDelete