I was alternately depressed, enraged and overcome with nostalgia over....
...wait for it...
a children's thanksgiving program.
I was choking back tears for at least 30 of the 45 minutes we were there.
And now my boyfriend is high and can't talk to me. Is it wrong that I feel betrayed by this? It's monday, practically the only night we get to talk to each other, and he went and got high... I'm angry at his friends for taking him away from me more than I am at him for leaving with them, after all, the opportunity to see one particular friend he's with doesn't come often since she's mostly away for collage.
I kinda already hated her though, hes fucked her before, that's good enough reason in my head to be mistrustful and jealous of her, especially since she's known him so much longer and he practically sings her praise when he's not whining like a lost puppy over how she doesn't pay enough attention to him anymore (which don't get me wrong, I totally get, I feel like that over my old bestest-friend-ever who kinda left me behind when she ran off to collage.. but that doesn't mean I have to like hearing him talk about wanting the attention of another girl who I know he has a bit of a past with, even if they never actually dated and blahblah..... I still.. blah).
I want to cry. I almost want to stop talking to him so that maybe he'll whine to someone about ME not paying him enough attention. I hate myself for thinking that, but god damnit I want him to.. want my attention.. as much as he wants hers.. now I am crying.
Fuck my god damn fucking stupid hormonal teenage life.
Sorry everyone. I weight 91 again.
I find that behaviour (on his part) to be EXTREMELY not cool. If he won't have a mature discussion about
ReplyDelete1) Lack of time spent together and
2) Nonstop whining about this other chick [it sounds like he's holding a torch for her or something]
I'd say it would be time to start emotionally divorcing yourself from him and find someone who deserves you.
Coz you are a fucking QUEEN and deserved to be treated as such.
You use pounds, yes? This morning I was 66.9kg, which is an ungodly number of pounds. (Well up there in the triple digits) Don't you DARE feel bad about being ANYWHERE under 115lbs, got me?
Coz I LUFFLES you and want to hug you and punch your ban for acting like a dick.
<3
...
ReplyDeletewhat Peri said.
<3
Perhaps you should treat him the way he's treating you in this situation?That way he can see how it feels.
And 91 is TEENY TINY. Seriously. I'd sell my soul to Satan to weigh that. You're lovely, and there's no need for an apology.
Do you know how excited I got about your book report? OMGSOEXCITED
xoxoxox