I'm not really sure we're friends anymore, I'm not sure why we would be, all I ever do is bitch at him and generally be sad. We had a good weekend, yea, but now I'm right back to my old stupid ways.
God I miss him.. I'm no good away from him. I've never been able to maintain a long distance friendship, I'm far too needy, too selfish, not patient enough. I hate not knowing whats going on and if I can't see it I want to be told every little detail. This is why I try not to get into things, I can never leave well enough alone, I have to go overboard. It's easier for everyone if I just let people drift away and don't try to cling, these things become so messy. My head is so god damn messy..
Darling PLEASE talk to him about your feelings, we both know that he bring some sort of comfort to you. And the messier the mess the more things you can find to keep! <3
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel like you want to off yourself. I know that nothing anyone else can say can really get rid of those feelings, but I still have to tell you that you're way too smart and creative and just fabulous in general that you shouldn't have to think about leaving the world before your time. You're a bright light and I would hate to see it go out. <3
ReplyDeleteI wish I had advice about Matty, but I'm no good in the relationship department. :/ Oxy's advice sounds good, though. We're all messy in the head. Telling him about your mess might be a good idea.
xoxo