I'm insane. Andy won't last much longer, he'll probably be gone by the end of the week. I have a problem. I'm going back to Matt, because he's the only person I've ever dated that I didn't break up with because I was bored. We had a legitimate problem, and he's taken steps to fix it.
Andy.. is a wonderful guy.. he really is, but the feelings just flared up and then faded away, like they always have, with everyone except Matt. I guess I do love Matt, it seems like it, I've had this feeling a lot, but he's the only one who it hasn't faded with.
I think what I pursue guys like some people pursue drugs. That rush in the beginning is always so amazing. They can keep me as long as it lasts because it makes me feel loved, a feeling I can't manage to produce on my own. That, in an odd way, is why I like being single, as long as there are people chasing me. It's fun to be chased. Almost as fun as being bought stuff and have someone constantly wanting to talk to and hold you.
So, this is a terrible thing to think but it'll probably happen; I'm going to go live with Matt, because god I miss him, but I don't know if I'm going to start dating him again right away.
I adore being single but always seem to be in a relationship :/
ReplyDeleteThe pictures. . . The most paowerful bit of Black Swan for me was when Nina decided to murder the part of herself that was standing in her way and became her innerself. . 'It's MY turn" and that meshes in with my favourite part of Serenity where River realises that she can get her brother's medkit and save her friends, "My turn" her turn to protect him, to own that part of her the Hands Of Blue stole from her when they tortured her and turned her into a psychotic psychic genius killer.
Lol, I found the gifs on tumbler and they kins meshed like that for me. I wanted to put more words in to explain it all, but really don't have any right now.
Lots of love to you <3