New post so fast!?

Yea, but I had to say something about Andy, I feel the need to defend my sudden break with Matt, and I'm bad at recounting scenes like this too long after they happen.
So, the other night it was really dark and we weren't wearing much, and a car passed by and in the light he saw my scars and started tracing them with his fingers and I pulled his hand away and then buried my face in my hands, and he pulls them away and turns on the light and cups my chin so I have to look into his eyes and he said "Sweetheart, don't be embarrassed about anything with me, not ever, I won't ever judge you. In fact, right now I can't, when I was in high school I used to take my exacto knife and do this," and he traced an X over my heart with his free hand and then just held me..

87

one more pound and I'll be underweight, I have a new boyfriend because I'm going insane again and can't deal with... anything being the same. Matt and I needed to split, we were fighting like hell while I was watching my parents beat the shit out of each other emotionally and physically, and I was getting WAAAAY clicky with this new guy. His name is Andy, I kinda stole him from a friend of mine because fuck it I've been hating life for too long, I'm 18 now and I've decided it's time to take my freedom by force, do whatever the fuck I want and throw whoever tries to take my spot at the top of the world off of the fucking mountain.
Andy, by the way, is a male ME. We.. think the same. First time we hung out alone, we started finishing each others sentences within five hours. He's been stealing me away at night for the past week and half the time we just talk and talk and talk, and then he drops me off and either I call him or he calls me (WHICH FEELS FUCKING AMAZING, matt never wanted to call me) and we keep talking most of the morning
I can't really focus on much, my days are blending because of the weird sleep thing, I'm so focused on him I don't even think about food, he says he forgets to eat a LOT and I understand why, he's such a blast! He's brilliant and impulsive and hot and sweet and funny... I think we both accidentally fasted one day hanging out together.
Life is crazy right now, it's mostly good though I'm losing my parents trust again, I'm going to be out of here soon, Andy knows what's going on and say's I can move in almost as soon as he gets his apartment, and he's picking a place where my birdy will be welcome, just for me. I'm moving too fast I know, but I don't care. I feel something amazing coming up hard and fast and maybe I'm going to knock myself out on the way there if I don't slow down but right now I don't CARE

It's my birthday.

I'm 18.
91.0 lbs
I was 89.5 two days ago.
Couldn't hold onto it.
No self control.
Disgusting.
This new format is weird.
I hope Peri and Honor and Mich and everyone else is doing ok.
I miss you guys..
I also thought I hit publish, but I guess I didn't?