I'm seeing my Matty again next month, summer school will be starting.. Matty though, he's my main motivation, I feel like I should at least be thinner than last time when I next see him, which means I have to be under 90 by next time because thats where I was last time I saw him. Two weeks ago.. why does it have to be sooo easy to gain three pounds in a week and so hard to lose the same?
I kinda wanted to fast a few days this week, but I kinda don't now, we have fresh tomato and spinach and berries and yogurt and almond milk and I think I should nibble on those. I'll have a healthy low week and then fast next week. Probably..
Really kinda want to fast today though.. might anyway. 100% fruit juice tube pops <3
Thats probably gonna be my rule when I move out. I think we're planning on moving in with Mattys friends right now. I don't know whats going to happen then, if it even happens, I still feel like there's no way I'm good enough for him.. how could he not meet someone else in College? and I'm not even going to be there.. how could I have a chance to keep his attention on me when he's out meeting new people and living on his own..
Just need to get through this year first..
What was it my councilor told me before my mom decided it looked bad to have a kid with a therapist?
"Try to focus on one thing at a time."
"Try to focus on something you can control."
Get.
Thin.
